The truth about making grown-up friendships


I haven’t successfully managed to accomplish this goal in recent months; to find meaningful new friendships with other adults; but I’m going to write a few choice words anyway. I’m privileged to live the life I do. I don’t worry very much when it comes to finances; I always seem to have enough for what my family and I need (I call this favour as I’m not great with budgeting and nor is my husband) but you can call it luck if you like.

I may not struggle with money, have a wonderful husband and a daughter whose love surpasses all my expectations, but I do struggle with making new and lasting friendships. Having moved from London some six or so years ago sure I’ve made some friends along the way but no one I could pick up the phone and ring just to say hi and certainly no one I could call for support of a shoulder to cry on, as can be the case when you’re me. (I have to point out that my mother-in-law is an absolute angel sent straight from heaven to love me and my family so that is one meaningful friendship. However it is also tied to my husband, her son and our daughter, the grand-baby so it’s not so much just a relationship between her and I.

It’s a known fact that many people struggle with this when they progress to adulthood and settle down with a family. I’m a happy person, I love people, and there are no strange nuisances that I’m hiding.

I’ve heard and I agree that the trick to friendship is time. I need to invest the time in a relationship to develop it. Sure I have old school friends who will always be a part of my life in some way, shape or form, but I would love to, like the women I see in the blogging community, have close-knit friendship with each other, and support each other through life’s ups and downs.

My husband is my best friend. We get on well most of the time and he gives me the confidence to face any obstacle life may throw at me. But I couldn’t joke with him about girly things as most men wouldn’t have an inkling some about (things that connect us as women and the reason men don’t always understand us). So I’m not destitute or lonely in that sense, it just would be nice to have another level of connection that was as easy and liberating as the one I have with my husband.

This idea of mine to blog is an emotional outlet, not for every random thought I try to process, but instead a constructive way to make sense of the world around me without fear or judgement. I say this even though I don’t really promote my blog with my existing social media communities. I figure this is me, the me that I want people to really know and if our friendship exists solely via a social-media platform then it’s unlikely to develop beyond that. So for those who dare to know more there are plenty of breadcrumbs along which lead here.

Life is a funny one; you spend most of it chasing a goal or an ambition only to get there and find you’ve chased all the wrong things. What I should really have chased was everything that made me happy, not just the things that were sensible. However, thankfully it’s never too late.

My heart will always be open and I will make every effort to show love and respect to all those who walk alongside or cross my path in this journey through life. I hope you do the same.

For the friends I have made along the journey, I thank you for your patience and love.

Picture of two friend
Although oceans apart, true friends are never far apart

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